Acceptance

A lot of times I’ll say “be yourself” without elaborating on the nuance.

These past few days have been pretty interesting for me.

I realized that I don’t have to change who I am to be accepted (unless I feel a personal need to change). Which is typically something that I’ve found comes with age, learning this of course from my older family members and the elders around me.

The idea of change is one of the things that always alienated me from groups because I always found myself changing who I was in order to “fit in”. It kept me away from connecting to people in any real way. Part of it was me not knowing whether or not I was good enough to be around others, but ultimately it was me not really being good around myself.

And I’m still kinda bad at being around people, I’ve definitely gotten better; but I’m still not that great at it.

And that’s cool, because nobody is. We’re all just trying. At the end of the day I’m beyond feeling othered because I can’t meet someone else’s standards. I don’t need validation from anyone else to know I’m good. I don’t need people to think I’m cool in order to feel cool. I don’t need any form of reinforcement to feel happiness and joy within myself about who I am in any given situation.

It’s amazing when you realize and accept that you can just be you, and that’s already good enough as it is. And if that isn’t good enough, allow that to be a personal discovery; not one that’s placed onto you by other people. (This is usually for the case that the group you’re aligning with really isn’t for you, which is different from needing to change for the growth of relationships you already have)

The other side of that is a lot of lonely alienated days where you’re attempting to figure out “yourself”. Which I think is ultimately the hardest part of “just being yourself”. But the more you get comfortable with that discomfort, the more you understand and accept that you can still be a part of something while being your own individual… that’s when you get real to have real connection, not only with yourself but with others.

A shorter way to say it all:

You can retain your individuality while being part of a group; and it doesn’t mean you’re any less of a member within the social dynamic if you don’t exactly fit in.

Davo